It is now 16 years ago since you left your body. When I look back it feels like it could have been just recently. I know that your life was hard for you. I also know that you lived your life the best as you could - out from your circumstances, but it was not always good enough for me. I missed you even though you were right beside me and I have been angry at you so many times that I've lost the counting...
Today is your birthday. I can't remember when I lighted a candle for you the last time. It is so far away in my memory, I actually forgot it through time and space. Today I strongly remembered. Your memory in my heart hit me like a rock full of waves. I have been crying, I have felt a strong longing for you and sometimes I miss a father role model as I deepy wished you to be. I felt that you left me, I felt that you took a short cut - to fly away instead, instead of staying here with me...
I have been angry and bitter for a long time, now I am in another place inside of me. Today I feel different about you. Today I feel love in my heart towards you, and I see that you were reaching out for help in the way that you could, and that you were stuck in your suffering.
I wish that you have learned your lesson and that you're making other choices in your new life today!
Take good care of yourself!
Love from me 💛